List: The Top 5 Bands of Pitchfork Writers

It’s no secret that most rock critics are also failed musicians. Even Lester Bangs made some records. But recently, a number of Pitchfork scribes have found second careers in bona fide bands. Here, we rank them along with the no doubt conflict of interest-free scores dropped on them by the ‘Fork itself. Remember, 7.0 means never having to say you’re sorry.

1. Cadence Weapon
Roland Pemberton III, an ousted P4ker dumped by the site just as it launched into its early ’00s hip-hop coverage, is a rapper, producer and easily the most talented musician to come out of the ‘Fork farm. Ironically, he was also one of its best writers, and his defunct blog Razorblade Runner was one of the embryonic MP3 blogosphere’s finest — why he got fired is beyond me, though the scores for his initial post-Pitchfork releases seem guiltily high considering the middling number for this year’s totally great Afterparty Babies.
Cadence Weapon – “In Search of the Youth Crew”: mp3
Pitchfork scores: Afterparty Babies: 7.0, Breaking Kayfabe: 8.0 (!), Is the Black Hand: 7.8

2. The Grace Period
Two-time Pitchfork scribe Chris Ott is one of the best writers in rock criticism when he’s not busy being its bitterest. As a drummer for the neo-shoegazers Grace Period, though, his old employers called him “the heart and soul of this record.”
The Grace Period – “Sunny and Share”: mp3
Pitchfork scores: Dynasty: 7.4

3. Dominique Leone
One of the ‘Fork’s most trustworthy tastemakers is also one of its more interesting musicians, and his electro-flecked debut is due later this year. Of course, all the production chutes and ladders and tempo changes in the world can’t change the fact that dude sounds like a pudgy white writer singing Paul McCartney’s greatest hits in the shower.
Dominique Leone – “Duyen”: mp3
Pitchfork scores: None yet, but I bet it starts with 7!

4. Get Him Eat Him
The vanilla indie rock project of Matt LeMay, whose reviews for fellow indie-pop dudes are often oddly bitter (jealous?), is, well, sub-Dismemberment Plan vanilla. You probably never would’ve heard of this guy if he wasn’t a Forker; then again, people like Tapes ‘N Tapes.
Get Him Eat Him – “Mumble Mumble”: mp3
Pitchfork scores: Geography Cones: 7.4, Arms Down: 7.2

5. “The Schreiber Dance”: mp3
If we’ve learned anything with this post, it’s that four Pitchfork-based bands are more than enough. Word on the street is that founder/publisher Ryan Schreiber has heard and approves of this scratchy electro jam, which originated at ‘Fork forum spin-off Hipinion and also wonders “Why’d he fire Rollie?!”


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